Socializing with an eating disorder

Every now and then, I get invited to have dinner with friends of my husband and I. Almost every time, I find myself turning the invitation down because : something comes up with the kids, the babysitter or the other party is ill and prefers to be cautious.

Navigating our social lives is an art even more so during a pandemic.

I am aware that navigating your social life with an eating disorder can bring even more anxiety.

 How do you know if you are ready ?

Eating disorders can be quite isolating. The result of using behaviors such as restricting, purging, over exercising and binging can bring about shame and guilt. Very often people with eating disorders find it more comforting to isolate.

As one start to progress in recovery , the cycle of guilt and shame will decrease, allowing for more desire to partake in pleasurable activities such as socializing.

Consider eating more independently and intuitively, your readiness for eating out with friends or family.

One of the tools I use in treatment is exposure therapy.

This intervention allows you to gradually face a fearful or anxious situation.

An example of what this would like would be to first go out for a snack, with someone you consider safe: a coach, a recovery specialist, friend, or family. This may look like grabbing a treat ( at snack time ) at the square.

Be honest about what might come up for you and ask for support.

 Very often, the anxiety accompanying individuals with eating disorders gets little attention in fact, people expect one to “just eat”.

If you trust someone and wish for them to accompany you, I encourage you to let them know how you might show up anxious. In other words, what would it look like for you. Perhaps you will be moving your legs a lot, biting your nails, looking at the menu all night or in your head all night.

Ask for support, whatever that might be: perhaps you want your person to sit next to you or not let you dwell on the calories. Whatever will seem most supportive to you, ask for it. If this person is there to support you they will be willing to do what you are asking.

What if you are not ready?

Maybe you were asked out at the early stage of your recovery and you don’t feel quite ready yet.

You can take charge of the narrative. As you and your friend make plans to go out (perhaps it’s a date),you can suggest going for a short period of time.

Not going for a full meal may look like grabbing a treat at The salty . You might be into art, therefore visiting some of the galleries near worth avenue could be an option. You may even enjoy making pottery at clay haus or touring flagler museum.

Ultimately, you can say no by kindly rejecting the invitation and letting them know that at this time you cannot accept but hopeful that in the future you would love too should the opportunity presents itself.